I got my first swimming lesson from my father. At the time I was about 5 years old, living with my parents and two of my siblings in a picturesque countryside of Bohemia. In my little girl’s world Sun would set each night over a hill and paint the walls of my bedroom with tones of orange light.  Outside my window I could see a pond  and  a forest both of which held magic and excitement for me.  Small train would cut its path through the landscape, signaling with a blow of a horn, a way to keep a track of a time. Back there and than, watching cemetery lights flicker into the night was just one way of entertainment. I was a happy, self contained girl. Not much of a talker, rather a thinker and a dreamer. At least that is how I would describe myself. I lived in my own safe little world. One summer day we went to the pond for a swim. As I played innocently in shallow waters, shaded by a tall tree that kept an eye on the world, my dad came in and grabbed me. He was  pulling me away from where I could reach the bottom and straight into the deeper parts. I had a hunch. I could see it clearly in my head and yet I could do nothing about it. I never screamed, although I begged for him not to let go. I guess at that age we trust in spite of our inner knowing. I was shocked when I found myself without his supporting hands around my waist. I tried to stay above water but to no vail and the fear of drowning really cut my breath short. As I mentioned I was a thinker and water is my element. I realized rather quickly that I wasn’t that far from the shore and in so much of a depth as not to be able to reach the bottom if only I allow myself to go under. I let go of struggle and resistance and sunk down. Then I came back up with all my force, catch a breath and again under the water. I walked all the way to the shore. This was my last swimming lesson from my dad, but I did learn how to swim soon after. For many years I resented this experience and distrusted my father but I have to say that I have learned a vital lesson in life. Sometimes it is better to dive in and allow the elements to support the journey. I’m realizing more and more that if I try to plan and prepare for something new, I might not ever get started. There is so much that I cannot know. With trust and innocence, I find myself guided by a gentle force.  How does it relate to my search for Divine Feminine? Well that’s just the thing, sometimes I don’t know until later. I have been planning to start this blog for over two weeks now and the idea seemed very clear in my mind, but to actually go and do it is like taking a leap of faith. I was going to reflect on a wisdom card that I had pulled out for myself this morning. I was  feeling a bit off my keel and some new wisdom stood out for me at this time. It is a Power Deck card by Lynn V. Andrews, my spiritual teacher and guide into the Sacred Feminine. The card I pulled is called Innocence. It says: “A boat can represent your voyage toward the islands of higher consciousness. That boat is made from your treasured innocence. We are all born wild and innocent, like a blue heron. To live in civilization, at a very young age we become like sheep trying to fit in with the crowd. To maintain your receptive innocence is to listen to your own inner voice. Know that the powers of the universe are within you. Part of the Sacred Feminine that is so beautiful and yet so challenging is that it is about Mystery and the unknown. As soon as you think you understand it, it throws you a new bone to chew on and you are forced to redefine your theory. It teaches me to embrace life in all its shapes and colors, with the light, dark and all the shades of gray in between and to really Trust that everything is in divine order even if I can’t see it. I never saw my father watching me make my way to the shore but I know now that he had my back and allowed me a gift of knowledge “that the powers of the universe are within me.”